Assignment 4 dialoge

I am trying to determine which dialogue I should use for my Assignment 4 paper. Maybe you can help. I am going to write it about concussions and how they affected me and the current issues in sports about concussions. 

First idea:

I was flipping in the air just like every other day of my life, but this time I was at a meet so I had to do everything perfectly. I was warming up on the balance beam and doing just fine until I fell. I fell all the time, it was a normal thing in gymnastics, but this time was a little bit different. I got up and could not walk straight. My coach, Brian, was concerned. He sat me down and asked me all sorts of questions.

“What is your name?” he asked cautiously.

“Brian, I’m not retarded.” I replied full of attitude.

Then he instantly knew something was wrong. I have never disrespected him or gave him that much attitude in my life. From that point I do not remember much of that day. I was later diagnosed with a concussion.

Second idea:

Waiting in the doctor's office is one of the longest moments of your life, or so it seems to be, especially if your in pain. You just want to know what is wrong and why your feeling that way. I was in this position except I have had a nagging headache for a few weeks. Finally she comes in.

"So we have discovered based on your test that you have about 2% of short-term memory."

"So what does this mean? What can I do? Is this normal?"

I had so many thoughts going through my mind. Will I loose my memory from my childhood? Will I remember moments at this period of my life? I was throughly confused. I felt like no one has told me about what concussions are. Is the way I am feeling normal? No clue. No one really helped me figure out my thoughts or even confirmed my feelings frustrations, and pain.