Assignment 4 dialoge

I am trying to determine which dialogue I should use for my Assignment 4 paper. Maybe you can help. I am going to write it about concussions and how they affected me and the current issues in sports about concussions. 

First idea:

I was flipping in the air just like every other day of my life, but this time I was at a meet so I had to do everything perfectly. I was warming up on the balance beam and doing just fine until I fell. I fell all the time, it was a normal thing in gymnastics, but this time was a little bit different. I got up and could not walk straight. My coach, Brian, was concerned. He sat me down and asked me all sorts of questions.

“What is your name?” he asked cautiously.

“Brian, I’m not retarded.” I replied full of attitude.

Then he instantly knew something was wrong. I have never disrespected him or gave him that much attitude in my life. From that point I do not remember much of that day. I was later diagnosed with a concussion.

Second idea:

Waiting in the doctor's office is one of the longest moments of your life, or so it seems to be, especially if your in pain. You just want to know what is wrong and why your feeling that way. I was in this position except I have had a nagging headache for a few weeks. Finally she comes in.

"So we have discovered based on your test that you have about 2% of short-term memory."

"So what does this mean? What can I do? Is this normal?"

I had so many thoughts going through my mind. Will I loose my memory from my childhood? Will I remember moments at this period of my life? I was throughly confused. I felt like no one has told me about what concussions are. Is the way I am feeling normal? No clue. No one really helped me figure out my thoughts or even confirmed my feelings frustrations, and pain.

Assignment 4 proposal

Concussion

I decided to write about concussions, because it is becoming a more common knowledge, but still not everyone knows or understands: what are they? Why do they cause so much damage? Do they really affect you that much? Why do they last so long? All these I think are questions that most people have. I have suffered through a two year lasting concussion and understand the frustrations of head aches, doctor visits, medication, school work, memory loss, ect. I have also have experience of having more than one concussion and what does that mean for the future? How long does this affect you? Also when going through the concussion or even watching from an outside perspective, you often wonder is this really happening or is it all made up? I think I would have benefitted more if someone would have talked with me and confirmed the feelings that I had. Concussions are so intricate and hard to explain and frustrating to someone that has never experienced. With having confirmation from someone that has gone through it already helps the concussed feel better and may help him or her recover faster.

I find this topic so interesting and I enjoy telling people about it. I think I can also easily find information about concussions now that more and more research is being does. Also having first hand experience I can easily support the claims from how I felt and further connect them with science. I think my audience might be to anyone that is going through a concussion currently and also family members or friends that do not understand fully what is going on and how might they help or have more grace towards the concussed. My idea about the dialog is possibly going to be when my coach asked me a bunch of questions that I ended up answering correctly, but have no recollection of it happening.

Fallacy

These are two examples that I made up:
Bandwagon appeals: “so many students at Penn State University are against the firing of Joe Paterno. You should, as well.” This would be a fallacy because it is assumes that the reader wants to be apart of the group “against firing Joe Paterno” and also give a false sensation that whatever the majority says, must be right. 


Faulty causality: “the students at Penn State University are acting more wild than ever, due to the leading icon of Joe Paterno.” This would be a fallacy, because there are more factors going into the behavior of the Penn State Students than just Joe Paterno. 


This is an example that I found:
Ad hominem: “That's a fine question for students. And perhaps an unfair one for athletes. But is it too much to ask to be even moderately civilized?” This is a fallacy against how students were acting and it doesn’t need to be in the article to present the argument of the Penn State scandals that happened the last few months. http://www.bloodyelbow.com/2011/12/7/2618810/rashad-evans-joke-about-the-penn-state-scandal-is-no-laughing-matter